It’s normal to struggle at times

What we want you to understand more than anything else is that it’s normal to struggle sometimes. Everyone struggles sometimes, and when you have an elderly loved one staying with you, it can be even tougher. There are a lot of ups and downs involved with your situation, and we understand that this can make your life somewhat harder. If you’re willing to stick with it, you’ve got to remember to take care of yourself as well.

When you decided to take on the responsibility of caring for your loved one, this did not mean you had to lose yourself in the process. If you did think so, you need to backtrack right now.

Struggling is difficult but you can handle it as long as you can get some help or take a break. If you have family members or people close to you who are able to offer some kind of assistance, then make sure you get their help when you need it.

There are people who can help

If you think you need some professional help, there are options available to you. We know it’s never comfortable to think about, but if it becomes overwhelming for you; if it’s too much for you; if it’s damaging your mental health to look after your elderly relative; then you have got to do something about this. Perhaps you just need a break but have nowhere to turn to to get it—the good news is that there are always options. For example, you could look into something like respite care, a short-term break for you while knowing that your elderly relative is being taken care of.

You do not need to shoulder all of the responsibility—that’s a lot to take on. If you need a more permanent solution, look into your options. We know you might feel guilty for this, but there is no reason for you to feel bad.

It’s not always personal

Sometimes, when you look after an elderly relative with some kind of medical condition—or simply because they are no longer capable of doing all the things that they used to do—they may get resentful. It’s not personal against you; it’s more against the fact that they can no longer do the things they have been doing for themselves for so long. When this happens, they might have mood swings or they might yell at you, and it might make you feel unappreciated. Just remember that it’s not personal, that you haven’t done anything wrong, and try to put yourself in their shoes.

Of course, this doesn’t mean they can be rude to you and walk all over you. Knowing this, you need to set clear and firm boundaries at the outset and stick with them, in a firm but loving manner.

You are doing a great job

If nobody has told you this today, you are doing a great job. You are doing more than a lot of people would even think about doing, and you are a good person. It can be hard to take on such a big responsibility while feeling like you are not appreciated, but we want you to know that it is appreciated. There is probably nothing more important that you can do other than taking care of a needy loved one!

Sometimes, caregiving can be the most difficult thing in the world, and sometimes it’s smooth sailing, but you never know which it’s going to be at any given time. We completely understand that this is difficult for you, and it’s important to us that you do what is best for both you and your elderly loved one. Remember that you are important too, and your feelings are just as important as anyone else’s.